The Kids Aren't Alright
by Rinusagitora
Summary: Oneshot. Canonverse. Nassau x Reiha. Rated T for mentions of war, murder, and racism. /War takes its toll, and it's a hefty price. He just wished she'd told him earlier./


**A/N:** Heyo~ I recently fell in love with Summon Night: Twin Age again and these two dorks have suddenly taken rule of my life. Not that I mind. At all. Please enjoy!

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He didn't know Reiha to smoke. Hell, she hated tobacco, especially the smell of it, normally chucked Mardin's pipe sky-high every time he tried to light it. She hated it so much that she did the same to Magistrate Talij at one time, smothered the flame with her magic— however she did it, he wasn't a summoner he didn't understand jackshit about their sort of magic— every time Talij tried to light up. Not that he blamed Reiha, he wasn't the biggest fan of the stuff himself as the smell irritated his sinuses and gave him a migraine, and he _really_ didn't like the way humans marketed it in Alchein, like one was a lesser being if they didn't smoke three pounds of the shit a day. But Reiha never smoked, so it definitely came as a surprise when he found her tucked in a dark corner with a dainty pipe between her teeth as smoke wafted from the oval bowl.

"Oh _shit._ " She cussed weakly, and he watched as her shoulders drooped in her shame, humiliation apparent on her feminine face. She snapped then, extinguished the tobacco and dumped the pipe in her bag on the floor and pushed herself to her feet. "Please don't tell my brother. He'll kill me."

He blinked slowly, folded his arms and leaned against the wall, and he crossed his ankles as he frowned. "When'd you start?" He inquired, kept his tone even so she would've have felt prosecuted.

"... just recently. Sometime last week, after that audience with the Magistrate members. You know, the one where that one summoner man kept flinging out racist slurs, Narain I think his name was, despite how many times I told him to cease and desist until I nearly burned down the building." She scoffed at herself then. "I really should've kept my temper under control, but he was so _stupid_."

"Yeah, well, I don't Talij or most of the other summoners gave a shit that you nearly destroyed the place, seeing as how Talij nearly ripped off that guy's head after he insulted Mardin for allying with us." He smirked as he thought back to it. The air had crackled around Reiha as her magic boiled to its near limit in her fury, and he had prepared to back her up just in case that creep decided to summon, but Talij had beaten her to it. Bastard almost cried the Magistrate woman was so scary. Either way, Reiha had been absolutely _gorgeous_ then, even if she wasn't the one to put Narain in his place.

She frowned at him then. "That's not the point. I could've completely destroyed the beginning of good political relations between our peoples because of my impulsiveness, Nassau. Please take this a little more-"

"I do take it seriously, Rei, I promise. Despite that, Narain _totally_ deserves to have his ass fried. But that's not what I'm concerned with right now." He reached between them and grabbed his future fiancée's hand— ... _friend's_ hand, he reminded himself, simply because he had given her the Ahamar ring didn't mean she would marry him, hell he hadn't even told her he was head-over-heels in love with her let alone _proposed_ —, and he pulled her against him. "I've told you time and time again, you can talk to me, and I'll keep saying it until you realize that." He rest his cheek on her scalp, and her hair smelled like a campfire, he thought, and it made his heart stutter.

She sniffled then, curled her fists over his collar and buried her nose between his shoulder and neck and stood between his toes, and his arms found their way around her waist. "It's... it's just _hard,_ you know?" She said, and he felt her breath fan over his skin. "I don't enjoy anything I used to; cooking isn't as rewarding and Banna berries don't taste as great as they used to and I don't feel as happy when I talk with my friends back in Jarazi. Hell, I don't even really enjoy this movement, despite how much progress we've made. The politics and stubborn racism is infuriating and nobody _wants_ change despite that it'll better all of our lives economically _and_ ethically... Nassau, the only time I feel alive, in which I feel achievement, is when I'm in battle slaughtering monsters. And I feel _terrible_ that it's the only thing that makes me feel good. It's against every moral fiber I had before, but here I am, actually _enjoying_ the adrenaline rush that I get when I'm fighting." She pushed away just a bit and looked up at him, and he watched as her lip wobbled, and he held her tight as his protective instinct blared against the walls of his cranium. "Nassau, _monsters_ enjoy killing. I don't want to be a monster, I want to feel something outside of exhilaration when I burn somebody to ashes. I want to be excited while I'm talking with Ayn and Ticah and Aldo, I want to be proud of myself when a new recipe works out, I want to enjoy Banna berries like I used to and feel _something_ outside of exhaustion when I get a vote to our cause here. But I'm empty, completely drained I'm afraid."

He frowned then, pinched his brow as his heart squeezed, and he would've thought it curious that he was swayed so strongly by her, sometimes to the point of murder as proven several times in battle, but it had happened for so long he didn't dwell on it much.

"You're... Reiha, you're not alone on this, I promise. I've been similar, hell it's hard to get out of bed sometimes. I've just felt... _off_ when I'm not at least sparring or hanging around you, Aldo, or Ayn. I don't feel as upbeat with the group even though I'm comfortable with everyone, and I feel angry more often than I used to. I'm just... this has fucked us up, and it's _unfair._ " He spat, and he looked her square in her eyes then to try to convey his sincerity, nearly lost himself in her teary, pine gaze in the process. "But you're not a monster. I refuse to believe such. You're kind, you fight for _everybody's_ safety and argue for _everybody's_ rights. You're not a monster, I swear, so please don't think such things of yourself, Reiha."

She reached and wrapped her arms around his neck, balanced on her toes as she reached and cried into his shirt. He rocked them, because _damn_ they both needed some sort of comfort, and she blubbered barely-audible apologies into his artery that he really didn't want, instead he wanted to kiss the tears off her cheeks and tell her everything would turn out alright, if not to convince her than to convince himself.

And it would, he knew it would, it was just bleak as hell then.


End file.
